Tell us about yourself. What do you do?
I am a 22-year-old student. By day, I am studying an English undergraduate degree, by night, I shed my Doc Martens and studious persona, perfect my appearance and moonlight as an escort. From bookish geek to polished companion in a matter of hours.
How long have you been working as an escort?
I only started around a month ago, immediately after Christmas. However, although I’m relatively new to the world of the escort worker, it feels like I have been doing the job for years.
How did you get into this type of work? What motivated you to become an escort?
To be honest, I have had an enigmatic obsession with sex since I was a teenager. I guess most kids develop some fascination with sex during their teenage years. But for me it was different. It wasn’t the carnal urges and erotic passions that piqued my curiosity; it was the psychological and social processes that go on in the background that I was interested in.
Why do certain ideals get some men more excited than others? What type of images does a person need to project to get the other person excited?
While my peers were chasing their primal desires to get off with a member of the opposite sex, I found the actual act of sex slightly barbaric; I didn’t actually enjoy making out with someone until I was much older. I’ve since learned to get enjoyment out of sex, but it really wasn’t always like that.
My interest in the psychology of sex intensified when well-educated sex workers started to share details of their exploits with the world via fascinating blogs. When I was around 16, I became an avid follower of the stories of Belle from Belle de Jour, who has since been disclosed as Brooke Magnanti, and Alexa from NY Hotties, who sadly no longer publishes material. These, as well as the Nancy Chan column that was published on Salon.com (written by Tracy Quan), gave me fascinating insights into what it was really like to work as an escort.
To be honest, before I came across these blogs, I had been pretty naïve when it came to the world of sex workers and escorts. I was aware that sex trafficking did go on and that it was a pretty serious issue. But, I’d dismissed the type of trafficking that was depicted in films as being over-egged and unrealistic. In a way, I’m glad I was naïve because it ensured I entered into this type of work with an open mind.
Years later, I ventured into the big wide world without my family and friends when I moved countries to start university. Suddenly, I was free to do what I wanted, when I wanted, and I chose to have a lot of sex. Engaging in what was supposed to be an intimate act with many different people was enlightening. In addition to being exposed to the real nature of sex itself, I learned that sexual partners are, in reality, completely disposable. Sex really wasn’t the big deal to people that I had been led to believe all my life, and I came to the conclusion that I was under no obligation to develop feelings for people just because we had exchanged bodily fluids in the same they were under no obligation to fall for me. I suppose, in a way, a developed an immunity to the emotions people often associated with sex.
I made friends with someone who viewed sex in the same way as myself. For the first time, I could talk to someone who I could relate to. While I had always been completely open about my fascination with sex with my friends, the majority of them had treated my interests skeptically. My new friend had a lot of friends who were successful strippers in the city, and they put her in touch with a female-run escort agency. She started working for the organization first and, having listened to her enthusiastic accounts of life as an elite sex worker, I couldn’t resist the temptation to try it for myself.
Do you openly tell people you are an escort? Why or why not?
I have told just two of my friends the full story: the girl who introduced me to the agency and another friend who isn’t interested in working as an escort but who is a great source of support and friendship.
To be honest, keeping the full details of what I do to myself is not as much of a choice as it is necessary to sustain a sense of self. I think it’s important to keep my paid work and my everyday life as an individual completely separate. It allows me to have my identity outside what I do. Most of my friends are pretty open-minded, so I am confident they would accept my work. But I keep my lips sealed to protect my interests and those of my clients. I know people would want to hear all the gritty details about what goes on after hours, and I don’t think it’s appropriate for me to talk about the people I meet and the things we do. That would undermine the basic premises of our exchange: discretion and respect.
Were you raised in a religious family? What do you think your family would say if they knew you were an escort?
I have never been religious. My cable-knit clad dad, bless him, was heavily focused on education. I suspect he played a major hand in my perspective on life. From an early age, I was taught to question everything I was told, even if it was delivered by an authority figure. I have become more and more independent as I have grown older, and I guess this is why I find working as an escort so appealing.